You wanted a list of limericks, so here they are! We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did.
John & Shannon
There once was a woman in Crete
Whose life was exceedingly sweet,
But Thera exploded,
Her villa imploded;
All’s left are the prints of her feet.
A plate that was very tectonic
Had a condition that was really quite chronic.
It had a major rift
Diagnosed as continental drift.
Don’t you think that is rather ironic?
There once was a fellow named Galt
Who drank with his girlfriend some malt.
He started to purr…
The earth moved for her…
‘Cause his cottage was right on a fault!
Well that glacier sure is a movin
And those small rocks are a groovin
It’s like they move right through it
Because that’s how regelation’ll do it
While down hill that ice is a cruisin
A fellow once led through the mist
In search of a spot for a tryst
He got her alone
On a flat shiny stone
“But that rock’s much too rough ’cause it’s schist!”
I thought that it was just graupel
And now I feel just awful
You shoulda heard me wail
When I saw it was hail
For my roof’s about to topple
Remember all the lemonade you drank,
those summer days along my humble cut bank?
Little by little I erode,
Then I removed your abode,
And swept it downstream until it all sank
Oh my that was quite a shake
It’s midnight but I’m wide awake
I think my floor is dunkin
This zone it must be subduction
I’m afraid it’s all I can take
The glaciers of old are renowned
They scoured and flattened the ground
But the place they were listless
Is now known as driftless
And that’s where the old land is found
With my favorite mineral, I’ve got it made
It’s sitting right here in my lemonade
It cools my drink so nice
That’s right, it’s ice!
A mineral whose impact will never fade
Hey, make way I’m coming through!
No brakes here, don’t know what to do!
With a bump, I thrust,
Give you Everest,
Grab a beer in Kathmandu?
There once was a man in Pompeii
Who ran from the lava that day.
He was rather a ninny
But his best friend was Pliny
Who would certainly sail him away.
With all the magnificent grace,
I provide at a very slow pace,
With my final retreat,
From the climbing heat,
The scars will be left on you face.
The man was a bit of a miser
But he sprang for a trip to surprise her
He poured drinks for two
In a spot with a view
But he’d set out the chairs on a geyser!
That’s it, I’m done with your @#$%!
In my hollow I let it sit.
With the next storm rush
I’m done with your mush
down the slope with all of it
There once was a fault near the coast
Whose stresses were rated the most
A cramp in the land
Got way out of hand
And a once peaceful valley was toast
A man who constantly bothered rocks,
Brought them home to store in a box,
Until his wife said
That box or your head,
So he left her down at the docks
A geologist was driving a Ford
Over a fission across a fjord.
He got stuck on some shale
While in a strong gale,
So he whipped out his trusty bungee cord.
In the Paleozoic era
One wonders what was in the Sahara.
Could it be desert sand,
a vast no mans land?
Or water with no firma terra?
There once was a fault line “the break”,
That was under a very great lake,
A typhoon came down,
It ruined the town!
All because of a massive earthquake.
There was a man from Pompeii,
Who was too slow to run away,
When the volcano blew,
He thought ‘this is new’,
And he stands frozen there till this day.
There once was boy on Nantucket
Who dredged up some rocks with his bucket.
He dug in his hand
Found luck in the sand
“Oh wow, it’s an oyster! I’ll shuck it!”